"But I will sing of Your strength; I will sing aloud of Your steadfast love in the morning, For You have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress. O, my Strength, I will sing praises to You, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love." (Psalm 59:16-17)
This is the scripture that God brought to my heart to meditate on the morning of June 27th. I am so thankful for God's providence, provision and protection in our lives. Little did I know, that within a few hours, I would be involved in a car accident that would really shake things up.
I was driving home from an ultrasound appointment where I got to see our healthy, Big boy and I left feeling full of hope and thankfulness. I was running a little late to see a client, so I was focused and very alert on the road. I was around the corner from my house, when a women making a left hand turn did not see me coming or did not look (this is still not determined) and drove into oncoming traffic…I frantically stopped as fast as I could, but still collided with her. I remember the seconds before we hit felt like time stood still, and all I could think was…"is she coming into the road? Oh my she is!" And I slammed on the breaks, swerving a bit to try to lessen the impact. I remember when the cars came to a stop (the impact of my car pushed her car a ways back) my first thought was "Logan". I felt my belly, and I could feel him moving (thank God!). The other driver got out of her car and came over to my passenger side window, looking very confused and distressed. This is what led me to believe that she never saw me…and that she didn't realize I was there until we were actually colliding. The first words I could muster up were, "Did you not see me?" And she just stuttered…"No, no I don't think that I did."
At that point I got on the phone and called 911. All I could think about was getting EMT's here to check on Logan. My head hurt…I had hit it on the glass of my window pretty hard, but I wasn't concerned. I just wanted to know if Logan was okay. Within minutes the paramedics arrived, as well as two police cars. The EMT's came over to my window first..but since the other driver was hysterically crying at this point, they were unsure who was the actual person in need of care. I told them that I was pregnant and wanted them to check on my baby. They said they didn't have a fetal doppler or any way to check on him in their ambulance, but asked if I felt movement. I told them yes..but I was still concerned. Then they just proceeded to check me out, my head, and vital signs. They told me if I started having contractions, or lack of movement, to go to the hospital. They offered to take me in the ambulance, but said my insurance probably wouldn't cover it (well now I know they would have). They left…and I waited for the cops to tell me my car was not safe to drive and needed to be towed (it was running but it was driving weird). I left the key for the tow truck, got a ride the two blocks down the street to my house, jumped in Nic's truck, and drove myself straight to the hospital. It was during this time that the contractions started.
Once I arrived at the hospital, I told them that I was just in a car accident and was having some contractions. They hooked me up to the monitor, and sure enough, I was having them pretty regularly. I was nervous, scared and completely alone. Nic was in the field, and unreachable for at least another day or two. It wasn't for about an hour, when the contractions started to pick up and I felt increasing pelvic pressure..that I really started to panic.
You all know my story, and that it wasn't long ago that I lost my first child. So, going into preterm labor at 32 weeks scared me. I remember it was then that I called my nurse, told her I was in pain, she took one look at the monitor, and called the doctor in right away. They immediately gave me a shot of something in my arm to slow down the contractions. It made my heart race, but did space them out. I went to the bathroom a little later, and tears just started coming as I realized the seriousness of my situation and mostly, that Nic was unreachable. I cried out to God to help me hang on to hope even when I felt like I was falling apart.
I spent the next 24 hours in the hospital, having contractions that hurt and were pretty regular, and desperately trying to get ahold of Nic. Most of my birthday, which was the next day, was spent at the hospital. I was discouraged, but God met me there. I was confused, but His peace led me through. I asked Him "why?" And He reminded me of His sovereignty. Many people prayed, and by early afternoon on June 28 (my birthday) I was released to go home, and had a special visit from my dad! All the way from Florida! God definitely gives us blessings even in the midst of storms.
Since the accident, which was almost 3 weeks ago…I have continued to have contractions, sometimes regular enough to go back to the hospital. The good news is, Logan has been doing amazing through it all and was unharmed by the accident. My body on the other hand, has been a bit of a mess since. But, I will Hope in the Lord. He is faithful, even when circumstances may lead us to think otherwise. He has promised me things, and He does not break His promises. He is a faithful God. So I continue to walk (and most of the time, sit) in faith as I wait on His timing for our little miracle boy to make his debut.
A few "Jesus sightings" from the car accident that I would love to share with you.
-Even though my car collided with the other car head on…my side of the car was untouched. My airbag did not deploy because of that, which would have posed a great risk for Logan.
-My contractions, however strong and regular they were, have never changed my cervix. God's protection has been with us the whole time
-Nic got to come home on emergency leave 2 days after the accident (He was in the field training)
-I did not sustain any lasting injuries from the accident
-Logan has passed all tests they've run, he is healthy and I truly see the hand of God on him through all of this
I'm 35 weeks pregnant with this sweet little boy. He will be considered full term in 2 weeks. I am on maternity leave now, and just resting and nesting as we anticipate his arrival. My doctors are closely monitoring me and I see them weekly, and next week will have appointments twice a week.
Please pray for continued peace and let us all give thanks to God for his protection and provision over me, Logan and all of us!
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