Where sorrow and joy meet.

Today was Faith's burial. I cannot even begin to really wrap my mind around what I feel, what I think, or what I am going to do. I just hurt. I ache in a way I have never known or thought possible. I have never loved to the depths that I love my little girl, and I have never felt pain like I do from losing her.

The reason I titled this blog "where sorrow and joy meet" is because her passing has brought both a tremendous and overwelming sorrow on our lives, as well as a joy. The joy of meeting her was nothing I have ever experienced before, it brought light to my life that I have never seen. Holding her..as Nic says, was like being given keys to the universe. She filled a huge place in our hearts we never knew existed. She was instantly the fulfillment of so many desires in our hearts we didn't even know we had. She truly is our miracle, and has changed us and our lives forever.

The sorrow that I feel from losing her feels like someone just ripped out a huge part of me, and I'm left with a huge hole that can't be filled. I know that sounds awful, but honestly, that doesn't even really begin to describe the pain. My arms ache to hold her, and my heart aches to love her and mommy her here. I don't want to have to go on without her. It doesn't feel right, or "okay"...it just feels incredibly painful.

I can't write much more. I just hurt too much, it is blinding in many ways. I trust that in a few weeks, I will be able to say more about my daughter, and share about her life. For now, I thank God for giving her to us, even for a short time. Every moment we had with her was precious and priceless, and no amount of moments would ever be enough.